The Rarest Thing and Ripening...Cheese

I'm going to go ahead and warn you upfront, I have no idea what this post is going to be about. But I told myself I'd keep a blog going, so keep a blog going I shall. Even William Wordsworth wrote without a clear purpose in mind firsthand:

 "From such verses the Poems in these volumes will be found distinguished at least by one mark of difference, that each of them has a worthy purpose. Not that I always began to write with a distinct purpose formerly conceived; but habits of meditation have, I trust, so prompted and regulated my feelings, that my descriptions of such objects as strongly excite those feelings, will be found to carry along with them a purpose."

Although he didn't always know what message his poem was going to convey as he sat down to write, through meditation and revision he molded his poetry to have a clear message and purpose.
That just might be what I have to do.

So, since when did I become enthralled with Wordsworth's writing process? I'll let you know when that happens, but I do admire some of his ideas regarding writing and poetry (though his Preface to Lyrical Ballads is almost painful to read at times). I'm taking English 206 - English Literature - if that clears anything up.

I love my classes this year. My English class is taught by an incredibly laid back young guy who takes his tennis shoes off at the beginning of each class and wears dark-rimmed glasses. I find myself appreciating his dry humor and quiet enthusiasm for English literature. I'm also taking a geography class (which is not at all my favorite, but I've taken worse classes), an online cultural anthropology class (very interesting stuff!), and an intermediate Spanish class (also awesome).

If there's one thing that I've learned this week, it's that I take myself way too seriously and that I need to really start living. Oscar Wilde said, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." Well done, Oscar, well done. Step number one to living life to the fullest: slow down and get some freakin' rest. I'm always on the go, my mind is always racing, and I'm never satisfied with just sitting around. But I think sometimes our bodies just need some R & R to regroup. We need to plug ourselves into the wall and recharge. Or at least, I know I do.

It's hard for me to think of things to write about lately. I can never decide what to write about or what I feel comfortable with sharing. Some things just shouldn't be posted for the entire world to see. I'm learning that. Damn online self-publishing platforms. Makin' me think I need to share my life's story to feel like I contributed something to this world. Here's the honest-to-goodness truth: Journals can be your best friend, but only when you stop writing for an "audience." Some things are best written for you, the paper, and your pen. And if you do decide to share some things, wait until enough time has passed that you feel a bit removed from the situation and can look at it with fresh eyes. Write it as it happens, then meditate and comment on it later. Words need time to ripen, like fruit...or..cheese. Or just fruit.

That is all.

(by the way, thanks guys for the encouraging comments!)

4 Websites Every Spanish Student Should Bookmark

Hey guys,

First of all, sorry it's been so long since I last posted. I've been busy with the holidays, switching medicines (which is sending my mind and body on a wooden roller coaster) (hover here), and starting back at school (my classes seem pretty exciting this semester, actually).

In other news, in case you didn't know, I have an insatiable appetite for learning the Spanish language. It's incredibly frustrating and intimidating, however, to have to remember all of the grammar rules and the meanings of certain words (hover here).

Anyway, there are a couple of websites that I have made friends with this past year and consult them numerous times each week, if not each day. Here they are:

SpanishDict.com
I was required by my Spanish instructors to purchase a hard copy of a Spanish-English dictionary, but SpanishDict has saved me a lot of flipping back and forth. When I'm practicing my Spanish, I use this site religiously. It's time-saving features include:

An awesome search feature that can often detect
if the word you entered is English or Spanish

                               



Tool that allows you to roughly translate text (note: Do not rely on this tool for correct grammar! It is developed by Google Translate and will not always give you the correct verbs/nouns)





SharedTalk.com

This site was developed by Rosetta Stone and is a wonderful tool for conversing with native Spanish-speakers (as well as speakers of many other languages, and you can help other people learn English if you feel so inclined). When you create a (free!) account, you indicate which language(s) you are fluent in and which you are learning. Once you join, you can talk to people via "Text Chat," "Voice Chat," or good 'ol e-mail messages (through a Shared Talk e-mail service).

I had searched all over the web for a credible way to instant message Spanish-speakers, but I constantly ran into stupid chat rooms where everyone either talked in English the whole time and didn't respond to a request for helping me practice, or they were full of spam and explicit content. Shared Talk reinstated faith in me that there are intelligent, patient, helpful people out there. I haven't even had to start conversations with people; I have received numerous enthusiastic messages from Spanish-speakers offering to help me learn Spanish (and some even asking if I will help them improve their English, which has been fun!)

One feature I wish was available on this site is the ability to save your conversations so that you can go back and study them later. I have an idea for a makeshift conversation-saving feature, though. If you maximize the conversation window (with the button on the top left), you could take a screen shot of the key parts of the conversation and save to your pictures. I haven't tried this yet, but I plan to.

OnlineSpanishHelp.com

Getting all of the different verb meanings and conjugations straight in my head (which is already jumbled) is a very daunting task. However, with the verb conjugation trainer on OnlineSpanishHelp.com, I can study the verbs on my own, customize my verb drills, and keep track of my progress (since I signed up for a free account). You can customize the drills by type of verb (-AR, -ER, -IR, irregular verbs, semi-irregular, etc). Here are some screenshots of the drill:



Easy level




Hard level

 This site also has some other helpful games, drills, and basic lessons.

Colby Spanish Site
This website, provided by the Language Resource Center at Colby College, is a phenomenal tool for reviewing and practicing grammatical concepts in Spanish. You can choose from numerous interactive practice exercises and guided reading/listening.

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I hope these sites/tools helped you if you haven't already discovered them. If you are learning Spanish, take some time to explore the uses of these sites, and if you aren't send this post to someone who is. Sharing is caring!

Know any other great sites for learning Spanish? Just want to give some general feedback comments? Share them with me, yes?

Sin and Cosine and going off on a Tangent

Since school has ended, I've been trying to fill my time with productive things, but I enjoy just laying around doing nothing so much more. And I'm finding myself okay with that for the most part. I normally flip out when I don't have anything productive to do, but my brain is on constant overload and really just wants guilt-free down time.
Huh. Guilt-free. I've been so guilt-ridden about things lately and it's making me want to hurl myself off a cliff (figuratively. I have a low pain tolerance). No matter what I do, I feel like I'm not meeting my own standards morally, financially, physically, mentally, what have you. I'm always trying to fix myself. Trying to hold on to inner peace before it slips away again. And my brain is not cooperating.
I even feel guilt sometimes about not being as close to God as I know I should be. But then, how close are we supposed to be to God? I mean, he's God. I guess we aren't always supposed to feel completely on the same wavelength as one who is all-powerful. But he is a personal God, too. So why do I always feel distanced from him?
What I need is prayer. And I don't mean my own intercessory prayers that make me feel as if I'm doing something wrong, or I'm not "praying the right way." There's no wrong way to pray, I get that, but lately I've felt like I've switched to AT&T's prayer line, and I'm sick of the dropped calls.
And then I feel like I'm taking it way too seriously. It's hard to know if you're taking eternity to seriously or not. It's not something you can learn from others who have experienced it about. For obvious reasons.
I guess what I really need is support. Spiritual support (and as long as we are talking about phone companies, I hope it's nothing like T-mobile's support).

So things are up and down and up and down and making me dizzy and sick and crazy and tired... I'm riding the sin and cosine waves, and the domain is (-∞, ∞). Oo, look who learned something in MA 112 this year..
But I kinda jipped that metaphor from It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini, one of the three books I'm trying to read right now. So far it's really really good, though. Can't wait to finish it and watch the movie. And the story line pretty much goes along with what I'm going through.

And now, I still have no clue why I just spilled all of that out in a blog post, but there it is.

Sincerely,

Dani

I'M NOT DEAD

I swear. I've just got sooo many things going on. Deadlines. sleep. Work. food. Family. School. You know how it goes.
I've got this major research paper due tomorrow, and guess what page I'm on. Page 5. Yeah. Sad thing is, I've been working my butt off on it. It's just a really confusing topic. I also went to advising for classes in the Spring (for which I register next week). I'm all like, "Here's a list of the classes I'd like to take," and the guy's all like, "Herm, humph, errr, we usually put our second semester students in these classes." So he signs his name next to his classes, but I've already checked to make sure my classes fulfill my credits, and they do, so maybe he just doesn't like the classes I chose. In which case he should probably pull some strings to get those classes out of the catalogue, or at least take them off the approved list on my student web account so that next time I won't spend my already limited time making up a schedule. Or maybe he should just change jobs.

Work is pretty great. I just got home from it, so I'm not incredibly enthusiastic about it at the moment. Eight hours is draining. But I work with some interesting people, and I'm learning some neat-o stuff about administrative management and stuff. Yeah, I just used neat-o.

That's all I really feel like writing about at the moment. Maybe I'll get some free time and some interesting things to talk about one day soon.

Sincerely,

Danielle Dani

Potpourri

I haven't posted anything in foreverrrrrrrr, so this may be a long post, but I'm going to try to keep it short and sweet for those of you, like me, have little patience/short attention spans. Just want to give a little update on what I've been up to. I'll keep the ranting to a minimum.

So college is off to a busy start and has unrelentlessly consumed my thoughts, schedule, conversations, and now my social networking. Cheyeah. It's that bad.
I'm finally feeling like a part of the UA scene. I've lived about fifteen minutes from campus for twelve years and have not once felt comfortable walking around campus up until this point. Now I feel a stronger sense of "we're all in the same boat, just trying to make it to class on time" instead of "I bet they can all tell I'm an underclassman." I've made immense progress with my anxiety since starting college. Big places with lots of people used to intimidate me, but I'm coping with those circumstances more frequently now and trying new things.
Speaking of anxiety, it's getting better, but I'm still working on it. I haven't tried the West Side Story or Inuit Relaxation techniques yet, though. My counselor tells me over and over that anxiety is and will always be a part of my life, so I have to make friends with it and accommodate accordingly when I know I'll have to face a stressful situation. I'd like to commence this new friendship with a swift kick to the balls, but that might make the relationship a little tense in the future.
My new job is a total God-send. I work 8+ hours twice a week which gives me time to get some homework done and make a little cashhmoneyy at the same time. Plus, my boss has given me a task which requires me to organize data from one system and transfer it to another for event/class room reservations. It's right up my alley! I love making lists and compiling data (I used to play a game with my cousin where he was the big CEO of a publishing company, and I was the secretary that reviewed emails of authors and who transcribed letters for him. Oh my gosh, that sounds so totally psycho. We were weird, okay?).

There's so much going on at once these days, but I'm guessing that it will level out soon. I'll write more as my thoughts become less jumbled.

Peace, Love, and Hugs,


Dani

Maybe I Should Have Adventures

One of the many lovely side effects of generalized anxiety disorder is the immense fear of the unknown. I always have to know what's going to happen and what to expect or my mind goes into panic mode. This makes major life changes like, for instance, starting college and a new job within a week of each other absolute hell. Last night I had to make a complete congnitive 360 and decide not to let the fear of not knowing what's going to happen keep me in a constant state of worry until classes start (on Wednesday).
     If you know a little about psychology (or have watched those cool shows like Hoarders: Buried Alive or Obsessed, you know that sometimes a little exposure therapy helps to ease the patient's response to anxiety-producing behaviors (and I'm the nerd that gets a thrill out of researching this stuff. I'm seriously considering clinical psychology as my potential major). So, I've been trying to do a little exposure therapy on my own. Today's mission: Conquering Campus.

Oh, how I love Vampire Weekend. And the song in the video above, "Campus", is a great one for today in particular.                                                                                                                                                                                I am determined to venture out on campus and find my classes/a good place to park. Also, I'm going to look for good places to eat/chill between classes. You guys, I've lived less than 15 minutes away from campus for at least 12 years now, and I'm just now learning where everything is. It's pretty sad that I got lost at Freshman Orientation. The upperclassman guide dropped me and some other students off at a lecture hall to take the math plaement test, and told us to go back to the student center when we were finished. I was one of the last to finish, so I went outside and tried to figure out where the heck I was. There I am, a helpless little freshman, looking at the cryptic campus map they gave us, trying to figure out what street I was on. It was pretty bad.

Anyway, I'm going to give this a shot. We'll see how it goes.

Peace, Love, & Hugs,

Dani

PS. I got a tumblr (as if I'm not already enough of a social networking nerd!)

DIY and PSYCH

I've been on a DIY kick lately. The thought of making something with my own two hands that is useful and visually attractive excites me. Of course, I'm not very good at finishing projects, so I don't want to waste a bunch of energy and money on something I won't complete. For example, my sewing skills are very basic, but I've always wanted to make some cute dresses (like the fabulous ones at ModCloth, which are too expensive for my taste). But my concern with sewing is the technicality of it all and the likelihood that it will look painfully homemade.

Speaking of DIY, take a look at this site, KnittaPlease. Knitting graffiti??? Oh, heckk yeahh. Adding cuddly goodness to a world of concrete and metal -- sooo right up my ally.
With the craziness of starting college classes and quitting my job, my stress level hasn't exactly improved lately. In fact, I'm chewing on my nails right now. Stopppp ittt, Daniiii. I need to try a few minutes of relaxation a day. Do a little stretching, a little clearing of my mind  ...We'll see how that goes.

My psych teacher makes me want to smash my face onto the desk repeatedly. Please allow me to rant for a moment. Reasons she works my nerves:
1. She reiterates everything. No, please continue defining adolescence for the next ten minutes since none of us here have experienced it yet.
2. She misuses words by replacing them with a similar sounding, but completely different word. For example, today maturation became masturation, autonomy became anatomy, and egocentrism became egocetracitosmistical.....umm...egocet....
3. She says "um" so often that I can't focus on what she is trying to teach. I know you know what I'm talking about. When someone uses "like" or "um" after every other word, all you hear is "like" or "um."
4. She showed a movie in a collegiate class. A movie. Not a documentary. Not an educational visual aid. Not even Magic School Bus. She showed The Notebook. You know the one that everyone has either seen a thousand times or has vowed never to watch because it's so cheesy...or too scary?? (I used to be a fan of the movie, but after watching it a few times, it gets annoying). Her justification for the movie was the fact that "Allie" has Alzheimer's disease. If you have seen the movie you know that it does not go into enough detail to deem the movie educational.

Forgive my harsh words and pointless whining. Just thought I'd share that tidbit.

Before I close this post, here's a quick promo:
Feel free to converse with me on Twitter as well. Let's make Twitter suck less :]
Also, I'm a new fan of StumbleUpon. It's opened a whole new world of reasons to procrastinate. Do me a favor and submit this blog to Stumble? There is a link under the Twitter widget on the left side of the page. I'd be much obliged, m'dear.



Peace, Love, & Hugs,

DB

Solution to the Oil Spill and Freshman Orientation Adventures

I've done some extensive research that I believe may contribute to the containment of the Gulf's oil spill. For some time now, critics and civilians, including myself, have dubbed Aquaman the world's most useless superhero. But today, I would like to propose a solution to the oil spill crisis, and Aquaman is the only entity with the credentials to fit the job description. I won't go into extensive detail, but I will say that the solution involves a mass-sea-creature-evacuation led by Aquaman and a 15 ton wad of Mighty Putty.

Freshman Orientation is super lame. I refuse to wear the lanyard they gave us because it pretty much brands you a freshman. I will give them credit on the complimentary houndstooth pens. Those are pretty freakin' adorable. So, I had to take a math placement test, but I didn't know exactly where to go so I did the logical thing in such a situation and I followed the lanyard-clad crowd. Apparently I picked the wrong freshies because we I ended up at the wrong testing hall. A respectable and heroic campus ambassador escorted me and a handful of other directionally challenged students to the correct testing hall -- which was ways down the road. By the time we got there I was out of breath (which isn't saying a whole lot since walking up my stairs knocks the wind right out of me, but it was still pretty far away).
The test itself wasn't so bad, and I placed in a decent math (ie one that I will actually get credit for...ie not remedial, like I pessimistically expected). After the test, I made my way out of the building just as a class of seniors and juniors were leaving their class, and I suddenly realized I had no clue where I was. It would be understandable and even expected had this been my first visit to the campus. I have lived in the same town as the college for almost 12 years now. Apparently I'm not very observant.
I played it real cool and pulled out my orientation campus map, called my friend on my cell, and began explaining to her that I didn't know where the hell I was.
Eventually, I decifered the cryptic map legend, determined where I was, and made my way back to the orientation site. But I was freakin' ticked off, man.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited about this fall's classes. Tomorrow is the last day of the university's orientation and the second day of summer classes at the community college. Busy, busy, busyy.

And by the way, I'm loving you guys' comments :]

Peace, love, and hugs,

DB

AP Test, Work, Charlie, and Mom

I took the AP English test (only the biggest test of my highschool career), and it slaughtered my very existence. Maybe I'm exagerrating; the multiple choice section was not hard at all, but the essays..yikes. Still, I'm pretty sure I passed and got the college hours for it.

Work was sooo crazy today! I got there at 7am and was supposed to get off at 3:30, but I had to stay until 4:30 (wahhh, poor me).

Your mission: greet customers as if your life depends on it. You are the crackhead that gets a buzz from customer service. Think you can handle it?

One of my supervisors (he's one of my favorites, and he's Egyptian. Way cool.) asked me to stand by the door and greet people as they walk in the door. After watching me timidly and passively tell shoppers "good morning," he decided to let me in on a little business success secret.
"Dani, the difference between Walmart¹ and Publix is dat at Publix, the employee wants to check you out. Can't wait to help you find what you need. At Walmart, dey don't make you feel welcome. So, when da customer come in, you gonna say, 'Heyyy, how ya doin'?' and 'You find everythin' okay? You like the hungry shark. Ya going in for da kill.'
Me: o.0

Charlie, my dog, is mental. He runs into walls, chases leaves, and gets his head stuck in cups. And yet, he is a really well-tempered dog. In fact, he's the nicest dog we've had.
Mom: "He is such a good dog. I hope we have him a long time before he dies of natural causes."
Ohhh, Mom.

Speaking of which, Happy Mother's Day (tomorrow!). Be sure to call your mother.

DB

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¹I've always wanted to try the balloon thing at work to freak out my coworkers. If I ever do, I'll be sure to tell about it on here.

Scholarships and Nostalgia

Favorite song of the moment: Coal War by Joshua James

This morning, my school held a ceremony for scholarship recipients and award-winners. Boringg. But I got three scholarships (and super fly commemorative certificates) and my mom cried because her little girl is graduating from high school. I'm truly not as nostalgic and heartbroken as I thought I'd be. I figured I wouldn't know what to do with myself once they let go of our hands and drop us from helicopters at high altitudes to the "big people" world. But mannn, I'm so ready to get on with life. I didn't invest my entire life into high school, and therefore I'm having an easier transition into the collegiate level education. I start two summer classes in June at the junior college, and then I'm hitting the University. Huzzah.

I need to study for the AP English test, so I'm gonna cut this short (I'm so nervous! It's a nail-biter! ..although I already bite my nails for everything else =/ ).

DB

Letters from a Hillcrest Detention

Did you know that tallow is the solid fat taken from the natural fat of cattle to my soap? I do now! I spent the past hour copying definitions from a dictionary with print too small for an ant to read. Detention is another world, my friend.
Our supervisor (we will call her Ms. Gertrude) continuously told us to "shut up" because, dad gum it, she wasn't going to talk over anyone, "especially not detention kids." Yes, "detention kids" are not like normal kids. We are bad kids. Our mothers didn't raise us like normal kids' mothers raised them.
Heaven forbid one of us shifts in our seats or so much as breathes the wrong way. No noise, or you can join Ms. Gertrude next Thursday for another exciting episode of All My Wayward Children. One guy (we will call him Fredward) whispered something to his buddy, um, Marvin and, Oh! how Gertrude squawked. Once he pulled the bird's tail, there was hell to pay. Poor Fredward didn't have a chance.
"But I wasn't talking."
"You most certainly were talking. Want me to call Mrs. Thomas up here?"
"No, ma'am, but I --"
"Do not get loud with me. Do not get loud. Mrs. Thomas would love to take you --"
"Everyone in here will tell you that I didn't even--"
[picks up handy-dandy walkie talky that they give only the cool faculty] Mrs. Thomas, Mrs. Thomas, please come to the library. Immediately." By her tone I would have thought a kid got impaled by a stray flaming arrow or internally combusted, but talking during detention would have been my third guess. At least there were no machetes. (Machetes? Yeah, a kid at out school shanked another kid after detention this semester. Go Patriots!)
I made a new friend in detention. When I walked in the library, (the artist formally known as...) Martha, said I could sit by her. I placed my bags at her table and could already tell she had been here before. She got her paper and pencil out and placed them on the table. I followed suit and retrieved my paper and pencil.
"Oh my gosh! I've always wanted to use one of those pencils!"
I looked at her, expecting her to grin smugly, insinuating a joke. Instead, she eagerly waited for me to offer my super cool mechanical pencil to her. Of course I let her use it.
Gertude's alternate ego let us out twenty minutes early. Oh, happy day!

Detention. Keeping us in line, one definition at a time.