I spent the past week in the north visiting my extended family for Easter, and I am happy to report that no punches were thrown, no one was left at a gas station, and my boyfriend still wants to date me even after meeting the rest of my big, fat, Italian family.
My aunt told me before the trip that she was going to give the boyfriend and me “the sex talk” (because we haven’t heard that one 50 billion times, #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement). Instead, we volunteered to take her kids mini-golfing and to watch them for a few hours, and I can honestly say our little play date had a better effect than any talk. We both agree we won’t be having kids for quite some time.
Little cousin, Aiden: "What's your name?"
Me: "You know my name. I've told you a billion times. I'm DANI. Or DANIELLE. Remember? I took you mini-golfing this afternoon."
Aiden: "Then...where is your blue shirt??"
Me: "I changed it"
Aiden: "Was it dirty?"
Me: "Um, yeah.. I had to put on a new shirt."
Aiden: "DID YOU POOP ON IT?!"
I mean, why else would you change your shirt, right??
For the entire 13+ hour drive up and back, my brother learned Japanese with Rosetta Stone on his lap top. He had a microphone so that he could practice the pronunciations too. My boyfriend says that to speaking Japanese sounds a lot like passing a kidney stone or being punched in the stomach. He also says that when people with thick southern accents talk all he hears is banjos.
The day before we left, my mom had surgery on her hand for carpal tunnel (so that she didn’t have to use up vacation days later for it). My mom can’t quite control what she says without being drugged, so imagine, if you will, my mother on pain killers. It’s 5:00 in the morning, and my mom is singing and making “jokes” until we convinced her to go back to sleep.
So, that’s my spiel about the trip. I’ll try to write more posts in the near future, but I’ll warn you, the ideas for posts I’ve got floating in my head are somewhat geared toward chicks (since I have significantly more authority in the female department). I am indubitably open to ideas from the guys. I need article ideas from the males about articles that are gender-neutral or that you would like to see written from the female perspective.