You don't have any pressing tasks today -- Well, you're at work, but you took care of everything you had to do here, and now, if anything, you have to look like you are doing something productive and important. So quit going over in your head things that need to be done. Biggest thing you got to do when you get home? Wrap a couple of presents. Woahh, someone give that girl a Klondike bar.
Despite your critical looks in the mirror this morning, your eye make-up doesn't make you look stupid. It's not that smeared. You probably could have gone a little more natural and let up on the eye liner, but whatever. Who's looking at your eyes? The Fed-Ex guy doesn't care that you slapped on make-up or that your complexion is a little redder than normal today.
And who says you have to be merry just because it's Christmas? The Muppets and clay-mation characters don't count. It's not a holiday to be used as an excuse to walk on eggshells for other people so that you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You care about people, right? So show them. Do it in the name of the love Christ has filled you with, not in the name of a commercialized occasion.
And He does love you. You hardly have an idea who He is, but the fact that you haven't turned from faith all together speaks volumes. Part of you acknowledges that He is the only means of your recovery. And that's what this is. It's recovery. From an affliction that you have been able to suppress until now. You're in a rehab of sorts, so start acting that way. Let yourself heal.
Now quit blogging to yourself, ya crazy.