Solution to the Oil Spill and Freshman Orientation Adventures

I've done some extensive research that I believe may contribute to the containment of the Gulf's oil spill. For some time now, critics and civilians, including myself, have dubbed Aquaman the world's most useless superhero. But today, I would like to propose a solution to the oil spill crisis, and Aquaman is the only entity with the credentials to fit the job description. I won't go into extensive detail, but I will say that the solution involves a mass-sea-creature-evacuation led by Aquaman and a 15 ton wad of Mighty Putty.

Freshman Orientation is super lame. I refuse to wear the lanyard they gave us because it pretty much brands you a freshman. I will give them credit on the complimentary houndstooth pens. Those are pretty freakin' adorable. So, I had to take a math placement test, but I didn't know exactly where to go so I did the logical thing in such a situation and I followed the lanyard-clad crowd. Apparently I picked the wrong freshies because we I ended up at the wrong testing hall. A respectable and heroic campus ambassador escorted me and a handful of other directionally challenged students to the correct testing hall -- which was ways down the road. By the time we got there I was out of breath (which isn't saying a whole lot since walking up my stairs knocks the wind right out of me, but it was still pretty far away).
The test itself wasn't so bad, and I placed in a decent math (ie one that I will actually get credit for...ie not remedial, like I pessimistically expected). After the test, I made my way out of the building just as a class of seniors and juniors were leaving their class, and I suddenly realized I had no clue where I was. It would be understandable and even expected had this been my first visit to the campus. I have lived in the same town as the college for almost 12 years now. Apparently I'm not very observant.
I played it real cool and pulled out my orientation campus map, called my friend on my cell, and began explaining to her that I didn't know where the hell I was.
Eventually, I decifered the cryptic map legend, determined where I was, and made my way back to the orientation site. But I was freakin' ticked off, man.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited about this fall's classes. Tomorrow is the last day of the university's orientation and the second day of summer classes at the community college. Busy, busy, busyy.

And by the way, I'm loving you guys' comments :]

Peace, love, and hugs,

DB