Blah Therapy

This past week I've made so many discoveries about myself. While I won't go into extensive detail, I will say that I am thoroughly blessed and humbled by God. 1) I have just landed a job as a receptionist on campus thanks to a recommendation from a wonderful friend. 2) I have the most fantastic boyfriend a girl could ask for. It's true what they say: "You always find something great when your not looking for it." ...or something along those lines? Maybe they don't say that at all and I just made that up? Maybe I should write greeting cards, yes? No. Okay. Continuing..
I found this new site (I'm kind of a time-wasting-site-hoarder, can you tell?) and I must say, it is quite clever. Blah Therapy is designed to provide people with an outlet to vent their frustrations to complete strangers or to help someone else out with their problems. I decided to give it a try, and it yeilded interesting results. So, I signed in as a "listener" and the first "venter" I ever talked to was some Bieber-esque punk trying to pull my leg..

[commentary in purple]

Stranger hey

You Hey there, how goes it?

Stranger bad

You Tell me what's going on

Stranger im going to kill myself [at this point I was thinking, "Either he's a complete moron for warning a stranger that he's gonna kill himself, or he's bored and wants to see how elaborate he can make his story to pull me in." I decided to push his buttons..]

You Can you talk to me about what led you to that desicion?

Stranger my girlfriend is pregnant

Stranger but the baby isnt mine.. its her ex's

You Ohh. How do you feel about your girlfriend?
You Do you love her?

Stranger yes but im going to kill myself so it dosnt matter

You So you don't care what's going to happen to her or the baby? If you love her you will forgive her and help her through this. not take the 'easy' way out.

Stranger nope. i hate her now

You even though the situation sucks right now, there is a reason it is happening to you and not someone else. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and life isn't going to throw you more than you can catch at one time. If you overcome this, you can overcome anything. everything else will seem easier after dealing with this

Stranger f**** the world
You [I layed it on thick. Insert unfortunate event that directly affected me but is too personal to share on the web] and honestly, i thought that was the worst thing that could happen my family. the thought of [::cough::] scared me and I didn't want to live. I've been suicidal many times before [no need to alert the institution. I've would never take my own life]. but there's nothing that can happen to you that you can't handle. I swear on my life

Stranger dude.. i was kidding but im sorry man..

You i know. lol. the guilt trip worked

Stranger f*** man. your good

You i know :]
You i should get a freakin' award or something

Stranger ill present it to you man. haha i fel like an a** now :o

[I told him that it was a pretty dumba** thing to do, but that I wasn't mad. He then proceeded with some small talk like what I was doing, what I want to major in, and...]

Stranger :) hey do you play any sports?

You not really. used to play soccer, but i hated being on the team. loved playing tho. sadly I havent really been keeping up with the world cup. shame on me. u?

Stranger awwh man, haha i was gonna ask you for your name and number :D

[Woahh there, Seabiscuit. CALM DOWN. Needless to say, I said, "I don't thinkk sooo" and changed the subject. But he swung it right back around..]

Stranger yeahh. so can i know your name/?ill tell you mine

You even if i told you, how would you know i wasn't giving you a false name?
You i've always like the name Olivia
You and Aleeah

Your partner has disconnected.

--->Win.

I talked to a girl on there today who actually needed help sorting some stuff out, and I'd say it went pretty well. I won't post it because it wasn't nearly as amusing as the first conversation, but it was nice knowing that I helped some chick clear her mind just by reading her dilema and giving her some feedback. Woo.

Need a little mood booster? I'm going to wager that at least one of these graphs make you laugh...or crack a smile at the very least.

In case you've never heard of them, let me introduce you to "blackout poems." You can find them scattered around the web in various places, but one in particular caught my eye. I want to try one of these one day, for sure. More examples and information can be found here.

Dude! You've got to see this artist paint with bbq ribs. It's absolutely one of the most entertaining things I've seen in a long time. Also, check out some of his other stuff, like cheese puff-ed Conan O'Brien and lipstick-ed Angelina Jolie.


Well, I think I've spread enough url love for one post. Goodnight & God bless.


DB

Dear Saturday

Dear Saturday,

I have been a loyal patron for eighteen years now and generally have little to know complaints. However, it seems to me that your services have become ineffective, to be quite honest. You promise relaxation, sleeping in until lunch, and going out with friends, but lately I have found myself unable to stay asleep, unable to go out and enjoy myself, and unable to forget about the week. Frankly, my nerves are shot, and my head feels as though a someone took a sledge hammer to it. Please, please, reestablish my faith in you and your corporation. See to it that I recieve the peace and quite that you have vowed in your mission statement.

Thank you for your time.

Dani

DIY and PSYCH

I've been on a DIY kick lately. The thought of making something with my own two hands that is useful and visually attractive excites me. Of course, I'm not very good at finishing projects, so I don't want to waste a bunch of energy and money on something I won't complete. For example, my sewing skills are very basic, but I've always wanted to make some cute dresses (like the fabulous ones at ModCloth, which are too expensive for my taste). But my concern with sewing is the technicality of it all and the likelihood that it will look painfully homemade.

Speaking of DIY, take a look at this site, KnittaPlease. Knitting graffiti??? Oh, heckk yeahh. Adding cuddly goodness to a world of concrete and metal -- sooo right up my ally.
With the craziness of starting college classes and quitting my job, my stress level hasn't exactly improved lately. In fact, I'm chewing on my nails right now. Stopppp ittt, Daniiii. I need to try a few minutes of relaxation a day. Do a little stretching, a little clearing of my mind  ...We'll see how that goes.

My psych teacher makes me want to smash my face onto the desk repeatedly. Please allow me to rant for a moment. Reasons she works my nerves:
1. She reiterates everything. No, please continue defining adolescence for the next ten minutes since none of us here have experienced it yet.
2. She misuses words by replacing them with a similar sounding, but completely different word. For example, today maturation became masturation, autonomy became anatomy, and egocentrism became egocetracitosmistical.....umm...egocet....
3. She says "um" so often that I can't focus on what she is trying to teach. I know you know what I'm talking about. When someone uses "like" or "um" after every other word, all you hear is "like" or "um."
4. She showed a movie in a collegiate class. A movie. Not a documentary. Not an educational visual aid. Not even Magic School Bus. She showed The Notebook. You know the one that everyone has either seen a thousand times or has vowed never to watch because it's so cheesy...or too scary?? (I used to be a fan of the movie, but after watching it a few times, it gets annoying). Her justification for the movie was the fact that "Allie" has Alzheimer's disease. If you have seen the movie you know that it does not go into enough detail to deem the movie educational.

Forgive my harsh words and pointless whining. Just thought I'd share that tidbit.

Before I close this post, here's a quick promo:
Feel free to converse with me on Twitter as well. Let's make Twitter suck less :]
Also, I'm a new fan of StumbleUpon. It's opened a whole new world of reasons to procrastinate. Do me a favor and submit this blog to Stumble? There is a link under the Twitter widget on the left side of the page. I'd be much obliged, m'dear.



Peace, Love, & Hugs,

DB

To Infinite, and Beyond in 140 Characters Or Less

I believe sharing my latest triumph with you all is in order. I quit my job! It's quite liberating. I won't go into too much detail, but working on a register for 5+ hours can only hold my attention span for so long.
Now, it's time to focus on my freshman year of college, although I do have a job opportunity I'm waiting to hear from. But for now, I have time to enjoy life again. See, I am an 18-year-old trapped in the mind of a 32-year-old. I have the constant ominous feeling of responsibility lurking about me. Gotta plan for my future! Gotta save up money for my future! Gotta prevent sun damage and global warming for the future! Well, I say it's time to put the future in daycare and give myself some much needed mental TLC.  Que sera, sera, baby.

______________________________
Dropped quotes that amused me:


Today at work a little girl with curly brown pigtails came up to my register and said, "You're pretty!"
Me: "Aw, hehe, thank you! You're so cute!"
Pigtails: "Yeah, I know."

. . .

Saw Toy Story 3 with my boyfriend and my little sister. Her highness wouldn't let me sit by my boyfriend because she simply couldn't sit on the outside of us.

Me: Emily, can't TJ sit in the middle so we both can sit by him?
Emily: Noooo, I want to sit by both of you. And what if someone tried to attack us? Do you want them to attack me first?

She got me again with her flawless logic. Still, I'm a bit skeptical.

______________________________

By the by, I've jumped on the Twitter bandwagon, and with every new follower I become more addicted. It's like they've spiked my keyboard with Twitdrugs. Dear Lord help us all.



Good night, world.

Solution to the Oil Spill and Freshman Orientation Adventures

I've done some extensive research that I believe may contribute to the containment of the Gulf's oil spill. For some time now, critics and civilians, including myself, have dubbed Aquaman the world's most useless superhero. But today, I would like to propose a solution to the oil spill crisis, and Aquaman is the only entity with the credentials to fit the job description. I won't go into extensive detail, but I will say that the solution involves a mass-sea-creature-evacuation led by Aquaman and a 15 ton wad of Mighty Putty.

Freshman Orientation is super lame. I refuse to wear the lanyard they gave us because it pretty much brands you a freshman. I will give them credit on the complimentary houndstooth pens. Those are pretty freakin' adorable. So, I had to take a math placement test, but I didn't know exactly where to go so I did the logical thing in such a situation and I followed the lanyard-clad crowd. Apparently I picked the wrong freshies because we I ended up at the wrong testing hall. A respectable and heroic campus ambassador escorted me and a handful of other directionally challenged students to the correct testing hall -- which was ways down the road. By the time we got there I was out of breath (which isn't saying a whole lot since walking up my stairs knocks the wind right out of me, but it was still pretty far away).
The test itself wasn't so bad, and I placed in a decent math (ie one that I will actually get credit for...ie not remedial, like I pessimistically expected). After the test, I made my way out of the building just as a class of seniors and juniors were leaving their class, and I suddenly realized I had no clue where I was. It would be understandable and even expected had this been my first visit to the campus. I have lived in the same town as the college for almost 12 years now. Apparently I'm not very observant.
I played it real cool and pulled out my orientation campus map, called my friend on my cell, and began explaining to her that I didn't know where the hell I was.
Eventually, I decifered the cryptic map legend, determined where I was, and made my way back to the orientation site. But I was freakin' ticked off, man.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited about this fall's classes. Tomorrow is the last day of the university's orientation and the second day of summer classes at the community college. Busy, busy, busyy.

And by the way, I'm loving you guys' comments :]

Peace, love, and hugs,

DB

Hey, Your Shoe's Untied.. Made ya Look!

I accidentally tricked myself into spilling my guts about some stuff. But I spilled my guts to myself, and now I'm kinda glad I did. How do you accidentally spill your guts to yourself? It's simple, really if you, like myself, bury your most painful memories and feelings and "grin and bear" life as it comes to you.
I started a new blog entry and convinced myself that I was going to be honest with the world and lay it all on the coffee table for everyone to see. Thing is, as I got about half way through it, I realized that being honest with people doesn't necessarily indicate revealing secrets. Sure, I've got some crazy, Lifetime movie material stowed away in my past, but that's then, this is now.
Although I'm not posting that draft, I can honestly tell you getting it all out in a more tangible form than just my thoughts helps to alleviate some of the pressure of hoarding those thoughts and feelings. However, maybe one day I'll share snippets about my struggles with an anxiety disorder, but I like the thought of being able to choose who I share that with. If you ever want to talk about anxiety, depression, or anything of the sort, do not hesitate to message me about it. It's easier to share with someone who's been there.
Switching gears, there's this game I stumbled upon tonight, and it's wayy addicting. Check out the Wikipedia Game. Let me know how you do :]

Peace, Love, and Hugs,

DB

Survey

1) Who is the last person you high-fived?

My dad.

::long discussion with my mom on whether or not farmville is cool...::
Mom-What should I buy? A popcorn stand? Some bales of hay?
Me- You should probably buy a big box of I DON"T GIVE A CRAP..
Dad- Oh man..::high five::

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you serve?
I'd serve bacon and eggs.

3) Do you sleep with the tv on?
No. It bugs me.

4) Have you ever wheezed the juice?
I inhaled accidentally while drinking orange juice one time because someone made me laugh. Does that count? No?

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Probably not. I dont even know.

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee?
Yes. No funnn.

7) How fast can you type?
this fast..watch!
kashdkjashdlkajhsdjahlkasakljdsa

8) Are you afraid of the dark?
Not as afraid as I am of cockroaches. And universal health care.

9) What color are your socks?
My feet are naked.

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
We don’t have any drive-ins. And im not a skankk. Id watch the movie.
Drive ins are fun though. I saw airbud in a drive in when I was, like, five. I still remember it. It rained in the middle of the movie. Sad day..

11) When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
About a week ago. I enjoy occasionally relaxing bubble baths :]

12) Do you knock on wood?
Figuratively. And sometimes literally.

13) Do you floss daily?
Try weekly. Haha. I really should floss more. Is there a special place for noncommittal flossers?

14) Do you wanna Fanta?
Fanta is gggreat. So yeah.

15) Can you hula hoop?
I have MAD hula hoop skills. Not gonna lie.

16) Are you good at keeping secrets?
Yes, but I'm better at telling them.

17) What do you want for Christmas?
A swimming pool full of packaging peanuts.

18) Do you know the Muffin Man?
Was he the bald one on the O’Reilly Factor last night?

19) Do you talk in your sleep?
So I've been told..

20) Who wrote the book of love?
Flava Flaveeee! Yeah, boiiii.
Oh NOO.

21) Have you ever flown a kite?
Unsuccessfully.

22) Do you wish on your fallen eyelashes?
No. That’s odd.

23) Do you whiten your teeth?
I blacken them.

24) Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
No, but I can smell what the Colonel is frying. SHWANGG.

25) Have you ever asked for a pony?
No. I would have asked for a giraffee or an otter.

26) Have you, or would you ever, donate sperm/eggs?
Sperm. In the Salvation Army bucket.

27) Can you juggle?
Not foreall.

29) If you could enact any new law, what would it be?
I would deactivate the law of gravity temporarily.

30) Do the chickens have large talons?
I just had to google “talons.” Don’t judge me.
They have relatively large talons, sure.

31) If you had only enough energy left in you for one last smile, who would you give it to?
Nice question. I’d smile at whoever was near me. If I only had enough energy for one last smile, though, I wouldn’t really be able to choose who I want to smile at..

32) Are you ready to rumble?
No, thanks.

33) Can you count to Schfifty-Five?
Well, yeah. It’s right after Schfifty-four and three less than Eleventy seven.

34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
No. I'm America's Next Top Model Student.

35) How do you spell relief?
D-to the-E-to the-L-I-C-I-O-U-S

36) Have you ever crawled through a window?
Cheyes.

37) Have you ever eaten dog food?
No sir.

38) Can you handle the truth?
Only on Tuesday.

39) Do you like green eggs and ham?
MOLD!