Crap My Mom Says #2

Mom: "Nooo! No, no, no, no..."
Me: "What? What happened?"
Mom: "I'm the highest bidder on this Ebay thing!"
Me: "That's a good thing, Mom. It's the point of Ebay."
Mom: "Nooo, I was just looking at pasta dough mixers to see what was out there, and I saw one for $175, so I bid $180 just...for...well, I don't know. But I thought someone was going to outbid me, so it wouldn't matter what I bid."
Me: "Why did you bid on it if...nevermind. I'm sure someone else will bid on it."
Mom: "It's been up for 3 days, I'm the only bidder, and there's 20 minutes left..."

I'm not entirely sure what her thought process was, but I guess now she is the proud owner of a pasta dough mixer...?

Oh, Mom.

Crap My Mom Says #1

"There's no way I could ever be a lesbian. I hate women."

I'm not even going to get into details about what kind of conversation started that one. But my mom is always saying things that would be foot-in-mouth for other people.


Merry Christmas.

Pep Talk

Self pep talk for an overcast December day:

You don't have any pressing tasks today -- Well, you're at work, but you took care of everything you had to do here, and now, if anything, you have to look like you are doing something productive and important. So quit going over in your head things that need to be done. Biggest thing you got to do when you get home? Wrap a couple of presents. Woahh, someone give that girl a Klondike bar.
Despite your critical looks in the mirror this morning, your eye make-up doesn't make you look stupid. It's not that smeared. You probably could have gone a little more natural and let up on the eye liner, but whatever. Who's looking at your eyes? The Fed-Ex guy doesn't care that you slapped on make-up or that your complexion is a little redder than normal today.
And who says you have to be merry just because it's Christmas? The Muppets and clay-mation characters don't count. It's not a holiday to be used as an excuse to walk on eggshells for other people so that you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You care about people, right? So show them. Do it in the name of the love Christ has filled you with, not in the name of a commercialized occasion.
And He does love you. You hardly have an idea who He is, but the fact that you haven't turned from faith all together speaks volumes. Part of you acknowledges that He is the only means of your recovery. And that's what this is. It's recovery. From an affliction that you have been able to suppress until now. You're in a rehab of sorts, so start acting that way. Let yourself heal.

Now quit blogging to yourself, ya crazy.

Sin and Cosine and going off on a Tangent

Since school has ended, I've been trying to fill my time with productive things, but I enjoy just laying around doing nothing so much more. And I'm finding myself okay with that for the most part. I normally flip out when I don't have anything productive to do, but my brain is on constant overload and really just wants guilt-free down time.
Huh. Guilt-free. I've been so guilt-ridden about things lately and it's making me want to hurl myself off a cliff (figuratively. I have a low pain tolerance). No matter what I do, I feel like I'm not meeting my own standards morally, financially, physically, mentally, what have you. I'm always trying to fix myself. Trying to hold on to inner peace before it slips away again. And my brain is not cooperating.
I even feel guilt sometimes about not being as close to God as I know I should be. But then, how close are we supposed to be to God? I mean, he's God. I guess we aren't always supposed to feel completely on the same wavelength as one who is all-powerful. But he is a personal God, too. So why do I always feel distanced from him?
What I need is prayer. And I don't mean my own intercessory prayers that make me feel as if I'm doing something wrong, or I'm not "praying the right way." There's no wrong way to pray, I get that, but lately I've felt like I've switched to AT&T's prayer line, and I'm sick of the dropped calls.
And then I feel like I'm taking it way too seriously. It's hard to know if you're taking eternity to seriously or not. It's not something you can learn from others who have experienced it about. For obvious reasons.
I guess what I really need is support. Spiritual support (and as long as we are talking about phone companies, I hope it's nothing like T-mobile's support).

So things are up and down and up and down and making me dizzy and sick and crazy and tired... I'm riding the sin and cosine waves, and the domain is (-∞, ∞). Oo, look who learned something in MA 112 this year..
But I kinda jipped that metaphor from It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini, one of the three books I'm trying to read right now. So far it's really really good, though. Can't wait to finish it and watch the movie. And the story line pretty much goes along with what I'm going through.

And now, I still have no clue why I just spilled all of that out in a blog post, but there it is.

Sincerely,

Dani

Getting into the Christmas Spirit

Our tree is up, indoor decorations are set, and outdoor lighting is a go, although I had nothing to do with the setting up process of either of the three. I absolutely hate Christmas decorating. So shoot me. I just abhor pulling all the crap out and setting it up for a few days, only to take it down soon after. However, I love having the tree in the living room because when it's lit up, it warms the room. Figuratively, anyway. And I like driving past people's lit up houses. Just don't like doing the dirty work, I guess.
I just realized that I am wearing an Alabama Snuggie. I told myself I'd never buy a Snuggie, and I've upheld that part of the deal, but I don't know how I feel about wearing one. It's my little sister's, so I guess since it's freakin' cold outside (and a little bit inside), I can break my prejudice against these things, no matter how brain shattering their commercials are.
Back to Christmas. So, I love roasting marshmallows over fires. Love, love, love it. I like to let them burn a little too. So tasty. My mom bought some logs for our fire place, and I asked her to buy me some big marshmallows so I could roast some. She was skeptical, but she probably bought them thinking I'd give up my intentions after realizing how ridiculous they were.



Me and the sister roasting 'mallows. She looks a little apprehensive..

 

I couldn't find wire hangers to roast the 'mallows with, so I went for the next best thing. Metal knitting needles make wonderful 'mallow roasters (until the flaming 'mallow begins to slide down the needle toward your uncovered hand). I had a good time, and the marshmallows tasted pretty great. I'm sure the health department won't be including indoor knitting needle 'mallow roasting in their holiday safety brochures anytime soon, but it can't be much worse than roasting them out side with a dirty stick.

I generally enjoy Christmas time, but it also makes me a little depressed. It's such a consumer-driven holiday, and I know it's always been that way, but I'm becoming more and more aware of it as I get older. And when light sheds on the darker side of things, it scares away the positives of the holiday as well. It makes charitable endeavors subject to ambiguous financial gains. And it conditions us to limit showing affection for those we love to one day of the year. Today, you have to get along with your family...because it's Christmas! So grit your teeth and bear it. Then you can go on ignoring the broken dynamics for the rest of the year.

And don't get me started on New Years Resolutions.. well, I'm sure I'll touch on that when New Years comes. Pass up a good opportunity to whine about something? No sir. :]

Anyway, I hope you all are enjoying your festivities leading up to this holiday, even if I just bashed it. All in all, I truly do wish that people would make the most of the time they have with their families and, God willing, remember why it is celebrated in the first place.

Peace, love, and hugs,

Dani

Apps & Such

I'm going to share some of my favorite Android apps. Why? No idea. But here goes.

I have an Android (Samsung Vibrant, woop woop), and I love browsing the market for new apps (that are FREE. If it's not free, I'm probably not going to get it). Some of my favorites:

Astrid Tasks

I use this app to remind myself of upcoming assignments, tests, projects, appointments, etc. Great user interface, and it can be synchronized with Google Calendar (which makes adding a bunch of tasks via a computer then adding them to your phone a lot easier).

Car Mode

 Personally, I hate using headphones to talk to people on the phone hands-free because it takes too long to get them into my ears (securely and comfortably), and bluetooth devices freak me out because people who use them in public look like they are talking to themselves (or I think they are trying to talk to me, which is just as awkward). When "Car Mode" is activated, I don't have to worry about answering the call and finding the speaker phone button while driving. It automatically puts the caller on speaker phone so you can spend less time with your eyes off the road (I know, don't use your phone and drive, but in the real world, there are some calls that must be answered asap. Texting, however, can and should wait. Plus, if you have a touch phone, there is no way physically possible to focus on driving and text unless you're so addicted to texting that you have memorized the distances your fingers must travel to press each letter, in which case you should be psychoanalyzed. But I digress...).

MyCalmBeat

This is a simple app that reminds you to breathe (Come again? Dani, do you really need an app to remind you? Freakin' moron..). Before you second guess my sanity, try two minutes of controlled, mindful breathing, and you'll see why I think this app is great. Helps me to relax.



In other news, I had a really simple, yet absolutely perfect birthday this week. Got some great gifts and had some delicious cake from Coldstone Creamery.
I have a final on Sunday, 2 on Monday, and a project that's not due until next Friday. Then I'm doneeee with this semesterrrrrr, oh my goodnesss, I can't waitttttt. Ready for a change. So ready.

Do you like discovering new apps? What types of apps do you like best?

Or, just tell me about other stuff you like to discover on the web/on your phone.

Sincerely,

Dani